It is 3:20 AM. I’m awake. Nothing unusual about that. However, Ann is awake and Elijah is not. That is unusual. I climb back into bed as Ann throws off the covers. On any given night I am a raging furnace. The warmer I am the more likely I am to have vivid dreams. On most nights Ann is clinging to me for warmth. I make the inquiry “are you hot’? To which she responds that she is. A short conversation ensues.
I had awoken after a dream, hungry and disorientated. As is my custom I went directly to the refrigerator to locate one of my many nightly snacks. This was no new occurrence to me. On any given night I wake up anywhere from two to five times, grab a snack and go back to bed. This fridge run was applesauce. I have grown fond of a brand of organic, unsweetened, applesauce I found at Walmart. Oddly it is cheaper than the Walmart Great Value brand equivalent. Anyway, I digress. The progenitor of this scenario was a dream.
As I awoke I thought about the dream that I had just woke from. I was on the USS Sacramento AOE-1. During my military service in the Navy from July ’93 to ’97 she had been my duty station. I often had dreams involving her, but this was a bit different. In this nights dream scape I found myself on the first deck just inside the weather doors. These large motorized doors acted as a seal to the raging sea so that the ‘Sac’ would not find herself in the unenviable position of taking water into elevator shafts and into her holds, thereby endangering her ability to stay afloat. In this particular dream I was pursued by Darth Vadar. A bit out of place possibly. Through a bit of evasion I managed to avoid Vadar until a fateful conflict ensued. To my benefit this Vadar was not the psionic destructive machine who we all have grown endeared to, but was certainly no slouch. It is rare for me to defeat such an adversary in a dream, but often I wake unscathed. This evening Vadar took my left eye, which I held onto in desperation. The meat of the dream passed I awoke. Now the oddity. Ann had also awoke from a dream.
Do Ann and I awake from dreaming at the same time, both warm enough to go sans covers often? Not only does it not happen often, it has never happened to my knowledge. The nature of her dream was also a surprise. Although Ann has certainly had nightmares during our marriage, I cannot recall the two of us having a nightmare simultaneously. She happened to have dreamed she was on a plane together with a multitude of dead chickens. This lead me to the only obvious conclusion when you have an overactive imagination: My own brains magnetic field, and in particular, the negative state of my concious at the time, must have corrupted her usual dream state.
I haven’t queried Ann about the possibility and imagine that depending on your belief structure and/or educational background that this either is not an acceptable possibility, or has been shown to be impossible. However, consider the ramifications were it possible. What is the depth and power of our subconcious during a dream? Could this affect on those close to us during dreams transcend our sleep state and move into our concious world? Would we want such a thing? I posit not.
Were the darkness of our nightmares to infect our loved ones dreams what demons would we pass to them? If our subconcious is the seat of our fears and fantasies, what would we choose to speak about in the light of day to prepare our loved ones for the demons our dreams bring? If you could speak openly and honestly with your family to avoid darkening their dreams would you? Is it necessary that the reach of the magnetic field of our brains taint our loved ones for us to find the strength to invest in a conversation or a complement for our children, our wives or husband, our parents and friends?
The relationships in our lives were not birthed out of the ether. They were forged raw from ore. Discovered in a passing moment, a glance, a cordiality and purified through conversation and mutual appreciation. The ore was purified through an investment of time and conversation. The steel born from this purification was forged into a keen blade, sharpened through disagreement and the finding of common ground and understanding. Unfortunately, apathy allowed the blade to rust. An idle conversation. A question which required a commitment handled with indifference. Fissures grow in the steel during an impasse over an unnecessary conflict that could have been bridge with a moment of compassion and forgiveness. In a moment a prized object is lost, but does not have to be.
Like the keen blade honed in the fires of friendship who has grown old we can again make the commitments we had held dearly and forgive transgressions. We can make time to move from idle chatter to focused discussion. We can rediscover dreams and pursue them with a companion and let go of the adversary. It begins with each meeting. Each moment is an opportunity to love completely, forgive unselfishly and ask for forgiveness, to reveal our dreams, doubts and fears and take hold of the hand of a friend, our wife, father, mother, husband, or our child and move confidently forward. We need only accept we are stronger when we have others.
The Angry Banana 