Today is my first Friday without Elijah since the Fall semester began. The new nanny works Fridays. This will be my first Friday in over two months without little man. I still recall my struggles first to get him changed, dressed, and fed on our day. This took almost a month. Then the struggle to get out and get things done with Elijah in tow, and the day Ann told me “just get him dressed and fed, then put him in the car and go.” The latter statement was my catalyst for many days of happiness, parading my proudest accomplishment about. I used my new found courage to take Elijah to Barnes and Noble to meet Henri and the morning crowd, to run too the bank and meet the ladies, and to run by school and let the ladies of the math department staff and building staff enjoy his tendency to smile easy. That ended for the foreseeable future today.

It was the kind of day when a parent hands off their child and feels a bit bad for the nanny. Elijah’s nighttime schedule was off and he woke up early at 7:26. This, in and of itself, is not the harbinger of a difficult day, but little man was in his “don’t set me down mood.” As usual, his morning diaper was an epic pee diaper. Elijah was jovial on the changing table, seemingly his favorite place in the house sometimes. However, when it was time to feed him things went awry. First the milk flowed freely out of the nipple of the bottle as a fountain. This presents a couple complications; 1. milk pours onto the face your child as you try to hit the open hole anticipating a bottle and 2. when you get the bottle in their mouth they get milk so quickly they immediately open their mouths and dribble milk everywhere. Solution, or so I thought, add just enough rice cereal to make it viscous enough not to flow more freely than desired. Alas, Elijah had already made his decision, he would demand a bottle, but only dribble the milk out the side of his mouth when given.

Truth be told, I’d rather have this bad day with Elijah than be without him. He is always fun. He is always handsome. He is always engaged. He is just, sometimes, a bit high maintenance. This being our first child I am assuming all children are high maintenance. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t need us. So, I bid farewell to my high maintenance Fridays with the son in whom I am much pleased and carry dreams for which he has not even formulated yet. I wish him the best with his new nanny and send him my love when we are apart, I wait anxiously for our time together each time we are apart, and send him all my strength and love for the times when all he wants is to be held by those who love him.

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