As is much regaled in the November issue of Powerlifting USA, I have lifted weights for over 30 years at the age of only 36.  Along the way I have thought I was a bodybuilder and discovered I was a powerlifter. The revelation took place in 1995, after which I prepared for my first contest. There was dieting and there was a contest training cycle, but those pieces are the smallest of a puzzle assembled which was being assembled many years before and is still being worked on.

Like all new lifters, I was found of the bench press.  Unlike most new lifters, I also loved to do barbell rows in my preteen and teen years.  I excelled at stiff-leg deadlifts, with a rounded back, also.  I loved back work.  I wouldn’t begin squatting until eighth grade when I began playing junior varsity football.  Deadlifting would be my last addition to the powerlifting arsenal.  It was added during my ninth grade year.  I maxed out for the first time after the annual school bench press competition, in which I took second.  Still vivid in my memory is the fact I set up too far down the bench and the lift off had to be hell on the spotter.  That day I deadlifted 385 at a weight of 143 pounds.  I was hooked.

At home I routinely deadlifted, but only singles.  All my high rep work was still with stiff-leg deadlifts off of a bench.  It wasn’t long before I had to add a pair of 45 pound plates to the York set my grandfather had given me at the end of eighth grade.  In tenth grade I put all of the York set on, 300 pounds, and my extra plates, 110 pounds, and pulled away for my first 400+ pound pull.  I was still a tiny fellow and it was time to move on to new heights, but I was worried about my bar and we made the next purchase in my lifting career, my first Texas Power bar.

Over the years my gym would grow with my deadlift.  After the Washington state USPF 1995 competition I would take off 14 years before my next competition, but even with half-hearted training I never let go of my love for deadlifting and powerlfting, in general.  Over the years I tried many approaches.  Here are some of the programs I followed and my current approaches.  As each is presented I will talk about the strengths and weaknesses of each and we will move from basic max based programs to weak point correction.  I will close the article with some books that I have learned from and think should be a part of any lifters library.

Basic max based programs

My program for the first five years.  The Up-phase/Down-phase singles up to a max then finishes with increasing rep ranges at lighter weights.  I would often choose a “max” above my current and try to PR each workout.  It was common to succeed for three to four weeks then experience some failure.  In these cases I would just keep trying until I broke through again.  At times I purposefully a weight outside of my capabilities to pull maximally against before attempting a PR.  Commonly I would only do the first breakdown in the 1-5 rep range.  Afterwords, and remember I thought I was a bodybuilder, I would do multiple pulldown styles followed by multiple row types, shrugs, and stiff-leg deadlifts.

There are also two basic pyramid style programs I used.  When I did one of these, that was the only work done those days.  The Poundage Chart was doable without any chicanery. However, the Percentage chart usually required a bit of humility and lowering ones max for choosing the appropriate pyramid weights, 20 pounds usually did the trick.

The Poundage Chart

The Percentage Chart

Moving from Training Days to Training Cycles

When I figured out I was a powerlifter and not a bodybuilder my perspective changed.  I joined the Navy and began a new phase in my lifting life.  It was a bold new world where the dedicated lifted in a 60,000 ton steel can with a gym which had no level floors.  Whether it was in the teens in the gym at port in the shipyards of Seattle, or 120 degrees in port in Jebal Ali in the United Arab Emirates, dedication was what kept us all lifting.  I still returned to the Up-phase/Down-phase template, but for the first time I began using preset training cycles.  The first of these was courtesy of Randall Kea, whom you may have read is one of the only men to defeat the great Lamar Gant, of Elite Gym in Augusta, GA. It was home to world champions such as Chuckie Dunbar and many state, national, and world record holders.  I’ve chosen to call the program Old School due to its origin.

Old School

The Birth of 5-4-3

This was neither the first, nor the last, such cycle.  I have since used Sheiko, Westside templates, and my own.

My current template I refer to as the 5-4-3.  It is based on what I refer to as “aggregate percentages.”  An aggregate percentage works as follows:  My goal is to hit 80% for a given day, to do so, using one-rep max estimates, I take my repetition goal for the day, say 5, and pick a percentage of my max which when done 5 times yields 80% of my base max.  The max formulas are specific to the lift and determined by referenced studies.  I also wave the intensities over the nine-week cycle.  Each nine week cycle consist of three, three-week, mini cycles.  The final week of each wave consist only of the main lifts, together with some ab work.  This acts as a deload on volume, but is not a true deload.  You should take your time on these weeks.  Think of each as a little competition.  You will hit your percentages for each of the prior two weeks for triples before moving on to a triple at this weeks prescribed percentage.  The last set should only be taken to failure if you fail to complete three reps. No further.

What I have found by studying my results; for the deadlift you can generally get more for less intensity.  That is, a double at 95% in deadlift yields a greater max than a double at the same percentage for the squat and bench press.  My own observation tell me a double at 91% will yield my one-rep max, and it is looking like the number may be even lower. Learn your body. Record your rep PRs and your one-rep maxes and compare them by percentage. You may find you are postponing your progress by being to aggressive on your intensity levels.

The rationale for the design is that I don’t want to destroy my system neurologically, but want to reap the benefits of periodization while increasingly increases the intensity and neurological stress of the workout. The fact is, “you don’t have to train maximally to get string, you have to train optimally.”  A quote I stold from Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1 manual.  Too much volume and you will exceed your bodies ability to compensate for the load.  Too much intensity and your neurological system will shut down on you.  Both will either, in the best case, halt progress, or in the worst case, cause regression.  Here is the 5-4-3 cycle for deadlift:

5-4-3

The contest taper for 5-4-3.

You may have noticed that I don’t have a contest taper listed here.  I generally deadlift on Tuesday or Wednesday, that being said, most competitions are on Saturday. What I recommend is that you follow the protocol suggested by Ray Koons, multiple time USAPL national champion and one heck of a deadlifter (I have altered it here a bit and added some of my own suggestions also):

Tuesday before meet
Triples on all three lifts at around 60% for maximal force output.  Move the weight technically as perfect as possible, as quickly as possible. Minimal assistance work to ensure that your muscles don’t start to release water volume or stop storing glycogen and ATP precursors.

Friday, 8 days out
Three singles on all three lifts at your openers. Concentrate on technique and maximal force. Be given all commands and follow them.  Make sure your pause is adequate in length.  Good rule of thumb; one Mississippi, then press.  On your deadlift, hold all of your reps for a couple seconds.  Hold your last pull as long as you can.  The latter rule always holds.  If you have ever dropped a deadlift you should be holding all of the last reps on your heavy sets as long as possible.  You should also pull without chalk and overhand until you can’t do so without dropping the weight.  This only becomes a problem when it is humid.  Chalk when it is humid, or exceptionally hot, from the start to avoid tearing callouses off.  Torn callouses can end progression on a good deadlift training session and cycle.  On a similar note, save baby powder for the meet.  You’ll be happily surprised if you do.

Monday or Tuesday, 11-12 days out.
Hit openers and then double second attempts on all three lifts.  Assistance work should be minimal, but aggressive.

With this in hand lets make a quick comment about competition.  There are a number of adages you will hear about winning meets. Two I live by are 1) “people who go 9 for 9 win contest,” and 2) “the meet isn’t over until the bar hits the floor.”  The second quote is the driving onus for this article and goes without saying. The best subtotals can’t win when they are followed by a crappy deadlift.  The first needs more information.

A Segue: Competition Strategy

There is a strategy to competing.  Although the goal is to lift the most heavy stuff, this is a means to an end if you expect to record the best total.  My feelings on each of your attempts:

Openers:  openers are to keep you in the game.  If you don’t get one in each lift it really doesn’t make a damn bit of difference how much stronger you are than the next guy.  They should be easy.  Real easy.  A good rule of thumb is that you should be able to triple your opener.  I think of my opener as my last warm-up and the bases for my confidence on the second attempt and the mood setter for the entire meet.  This is especially true for the squat.  A bad squat opener can destroy everything that follows.  I suggest pick and exercise you can triple, then go a bit lighter. Bury that first squat. Don’t leave room for doubt.

Second attempts: This is not your attempt if you are on a team, or want to secure a prior total.  Second attempts should lock in previous lift PRs and secure a good place for your team for scoring purposes if you are on one.  An example, my recent meet was crap because I prepared poorly.  I knew I was in trouble.  To secure a total PR I took 451 for my second squat.  I had hit it in training recently and it was only 5.5 pounds below my best meet squat.  All I had to do was match my best lifts on bench and deadlift to not regress.  bench was iffy and I knew I would pull my third attempt for the prior year as my opener.  As it turned out I missed my third squat, so my second was a good choice, hit a PR on bench and pulled 22 pounds less than my best deadlift, giving me a PR total.  Second attempts are not there for PRs.  There is a strategy to winning. Use it.

Third attempts:
If you have got a pair use them, but be reasonable.  Be epic if you can.  Grind past what is reasonable and give everyone there something to remember.

Weak Point Training

Whether you aren’t a competitive lifter, or have competed often, eventually you will have to address week points.  It may be your grip, speed off the floor, or your lockout. In my most recent meet and the prior I have had strength off the floor but slowed after passing my knees on limit pulls. Here are some problems I have encountered, or you may encounter, and some suggestions that may help:

Weak grip:  Best remedy.  Pull overhand and without chalk as long as you can in each workout.  Reverse your grip as soon as things get sketchy, but avoid chalk the entire workout, if possible.  The only exception with chalk is if it is humid or hot out.  Humidity and/or sweat is a recipe for serious injuries due to torn callouses.  When a callous tears it can take more than just the callous. It may tear into live skin and flesh.  Use chalk to avoid this.  With these chalking precautions in mind, you should also hold the last rep of each of your heavy sets for five to ten seconds.  Hold the last rep of the last set until you feel you are going to drop it.  You should only use straps on shrugs and rack pulls far in excess of your best pull.  I would recommend never.  I just reverse my grip and add chalk.

Speed of the floor: Bands and chains work best here.  Some also advocate pulling while standing on a block.  I have had bad experiences with the latter idea.  If you have low back problems avoid it all together.  For chains you can drop the weight after your top set by 20-40% and add around 10-30% of chain and work on explosive and crisp reps.  A few sets of a few reps unless you are intent on replacing your actual workout with chain pulls for the day.  In the latter case I would add 1.5 times the chain weight to the bar that you take from the strait weight on each set.  I have only lately began using bands and don’t know the best suggestion, but be warned they add weight exponentially to the bar, and not linearly, as with chains.  This means that the relative load with bands will increase at a greater rate the more the band is stretched. In contrast, a given distance will always add the same amount of weight when using chains.

If you are a sumo puller, speed off the floor becomes the biggest issue if we exclude any grip problems.  Look at your hip strength and flexibility first.  Sumo demands that the lifter be as erect as possible throughout the lift.  Ensure you are not leaning, or falling, forward.  If you get forward in sumo it is almost impossible to ugly it up like a conventional puller.  Brooks Conway, a USAPL 600+ puller in the 181s, has had great success from pulling off various box heights.

Bar getting out in front during the pull: This could be caused by poor starting position and/or weak lats.  As a conventional puller the bar should be between the middle of the foot and an inch from your shins when standing.  Although I rarely have the bar tear my shins up, if the bar is dragging up your shins, then you are certainly starting with the bar close enough.  If you have weak lats when you attempt to pass your knees you will not be able to stop the bar from drifting forward.  A healthy dose of one-arm rows, chest supported rows, and various forms of pull-ups and chin-ups should do the trick.

A note about starting position: If your hips rise before the bar you are starting with your hips too low.  You should initiate your pull as soon as your scapula are over the bar.  In this position your arms will not form a line perpendicular to the floor, between the bar and your shoulder blades. They will point slightly back towards the bar.  If you are inflexible, like I am, a pre-stretch of the hamstrings will enable you to obtain the correct starting position.  This is a problem more for larger lifters who pull conventional.

Stalling at the knees: The suggestion I would make is based on my experiences with the Sheiko template. Whether a correct translation, or not, pulling to the knees, without a belt, and pausing for a three count, then either lowering and repeating, or completing the rep, has been an incredible boon to my pull. You will find that your abs never worked harder and your lats and mid traps hurt more than from shrugs and chin-ups.  Make sure you maintain proper spine position.

Problems above the knees: As stated earlier, I am stalling above the knees in my own pulling.  Numerous suggestions abound on the issue.  Here are a few:  1) try pulling off a box that puts the bar at a height as near to your sticking point as possible and pull a set rep scheme, 5,4,3, or 2, and work up to a top set. This can also be a great fix for your grip issues.  I pulled 725 from above the knees and held it for four seconds after doubling 585, 635 and 675.  This translated into the video you saw above.  My grip was solid and I held on for 12 seconds to complete the attempt.  I have also done the same with reverse bands.  Try enough band tension to take 70-100 pounds off at the start of the lift and none from your sticking point on.  You should also try shrugging heavy and doing all types of rows.  I am especially found of chest supported rows, which make it near impossible to cheat the weight to completion.

I will carry love through the battlegrounds of this world, through life and into death.  When hope is lost you will find my strength.

I am a force of rage.  I will cut through the family trees of my enemies, from the strongest root to the newest growth.

I am a man. Only a man. I am built of passion. I am a juggernaut, but fall without the embrace of others.

I cry fiery tears of despair when I imagine a world bereft of your presence. I sit alone on an island built on the rocks that are my fears.

My memory is built upon many things, but rage holds my hand to lead me forward. I embrace vengeance for past affronts and grow flush with anticipation.

I am a man. A broken man. My flaws are manifold and I see few solutions.

I cling to those that can carry my shattered heart in the wake of my actions.  Those whose flesh I would carry through the battles they lack the strength to wage alone.

Without passion I am neither the hero, nor the companion I must be.  I am only a shell. A man none-the-less, but only flesh.

With regards to D4, squat day, I deleted some of the video and decided to just call it a loss. It was a rough workout to say the least. I decided to hit some waves and go for volume at various intensities to jar the system back into action. The session was performed on Sunday, 31 October 2010 and here are the numbers:

Needless to say, everything felt heavy. On Friday we will hit some walkouts and look to go back up to 420 for 4 reps, should that be an issue, I’ll hit doubles until I cry.

Here are the last three training days strung all together. A bit behind at this moment leads to a giant post:

Monday, 25 October 2010, D1, Bench assist

Pretty decent day. Normally wouldn’t have worn a belt on presses, but my back was still out of sorts from a twinge on my last warm-up and first attempt at the NOTLD (which I am still reveling over). I am pretty sure that is my best triple. I know I’ve hit 209 for a single at least, possibly a double. On incline dumbbell presses I couldn’t have been more pleased. Never played with the 120s on it. In fact, I tied my flat bench dumbbell press PR with this set.

I am most concerned with jump starting my bench and squat after the deadlift focus the past month, or so. If I am going to qualify for Raw Unity, or make a push for the state total record, they have to be up to snuff.

Typing this 21 days out I can say that my bench was weak yesterday, but I expect a quick return. Best contest numbers are 457-308-457 for a 1328 total at the Georgia last year and 451-319-562 for a 1332 total at the Battle on the Borer in March. Of course, I pulled 606 at the NOTLD. I need a whopping 1509 to qualify for Raw Unity and 1485 to beat the USAPL GA Raw total record. The other Georgia records are: 534-380-639.

Here is the particulars:

Wednesday, 27 October 2010, D2, Deadlift

Rough day.  My low back was still unhappy at the point I did this workout, and is still, slowly, improving.  I had a light day planned to day and decided to run beltless with the pause to work on weak points.  The pause fries your mid back and upper back and should help with my slow down point.  I only rested enough to cut the prior video, so a minute, or so, and it was brutal.  Lets you know what kind of shape you’re in real quick.  Here are the numbers:

Thursday, 28 October 2010, D3, Bench

Weak on bench due to ignoring it.  All-in-all it went well.  Super-setted last two exercise.  Not much else to say. Here are the numbers:

I am writing this Sunday and this afternoon it will be time to squat. This is the big day to push. It will also entail some heavy shrugs to continue working on my lockout. Tomorrow I have some random assist work which will probably not make it to video. Although, I may be looking to hit a pull-up PR, so it may? Then we start over again at bench assist. Next week will be much heavier.

Steve Winburn at the Night of the Living Dead

I have the pleasure of learning that my blog on the results and the meet are now also featured on Powerliftingwatch.com and on 70sBig.com at the following URLS:

The Night of the Living Dead, Lifters Without Borders, and My First 600+ Pull on Powerliftingwatch.com, and

The Night of the Living Dead, Lifters Without Borders, and My First 600+ Pull on 70sBig.com.

These are follow ups to my first showings on the above sites for my PRpalooza deadlift PR of a few months ago:

PRpalooza day 1 deadlift PR 555 x 3 on Powerliftingwatch.com, and

PRpalooza day 1, deadlift PR 555 x 3, featured on 70sBig in reader\’s appreciation article.

To say the least it has been a great year for me so far.  Thank you to everyone who helped me on this journey.

From across the country, and indeed across the seas, lifters descended upon Elizabethton, TN to bend over, grab a piece of steel laden with steel discs, and pick it up all to the applause of hundreds of fans in an unlit high school gym with smoke effects and deafening music. We call it the dead lift, a lift forgotten in the era of lifting equipment. From the smallest, Haydin Spradlin at only 62 pounds and still bearing the load of childhood, to the largest, Andy Bolton weighing a staggering 335 pounds. There were many with world titles and world records to their credit across the diaspora of federations powerlifting now has the sadness of trying to piece together. Great lifts were made and great lifts were missed, but everyone brought only their best and received the cheers of a frenzied crowd as they strode to the stage and faced the PRs of yesterday and the aspirations of the day of competition.

For the women first place was taken by Natalie Freed with a pull of 352.7 pounds at a mere 119 pounds of body weight and second place went to Rhonda Clark who pulled 440.9 pounds missing her third attempt at 463. The men saw the much-anticipated battle of Mr. Andy Bolton and Mr Tom Eiseman. This year Andy Bolton took the win with a Schwartz score of 214.9 via a third attempt pull of 964.5 pounds, wearing a singlet, a belt, and enough chalk to coat a smaller mans body. Mr. Eiseman made a second pull of 755.1, giving him a Schwartz score of 213.38, missing a third attempt at 771.6 pounds, which would have given him the win with a Schwartz score of 218.05, had Mr. Bolton not pulled at least 979.05 pounds.

The other twenty-one competitors did not fail to impress either, and I am humbly including myself in the same group. The complete list of the results, in pounds, is given after the video of my meet and pictures of the competitors, their families,, friends, and some of the people who made this all run smoothly.

For my part I had the pleasure of pulling my first 600+ pull with 606. Although I was unhappy with my training for the last few weeks to a month, and there was a twinge on my last warm-up in my low back, I conquered the challenge that I had set for myself on the platform and look forward to something even greater next year. I would like to thank all the lifters, Alex Campbell, the fans cheering, and the Elizabethton high school powerlifting club for making it such a great experience. I would also like to thank the woman who not only carried my son while I was off chasing dragons, but carried him in her womb until the moment Elijah came into my life. You are my world and without you I have no purpose.

Elijah tempers my faults. When my hands are clenched in rage he unfurls them with innocence. When I boil with frustration and contempt for the moments of my life I find unbearable, he calms. If I grab and hold steadfast to intolerance, he reaches with open arms to embrace the unknown. Every dream I carry each day in flights of fancy is replaced with the solid hope for his happiness and strong growth. He gives me reason to covet only he and his mothers comfort in times of need and fills my heart when it feels empty.

Elijah is my dreams growing each day. Each tomorrow is filled with a chance to carry him through the trials of his life. Whether it be helping him roll from his belly to his back and back to his belly again, or celebrating his first time catching a ball. Comforting him after a fall when all he needs is to know I am there, or sitting with him when he first falls in love and when he taste the sting of lost love.

It is only fitting to close this thought with humble appreciation for the wife who carried Elijah for nine months and birthed him into this world, with awe of a God who made it possible to spread joy in such a profound way, and with unyielding love for a son whom I hope will only taste the best of life, but should he face trials, that he face them squarely and rise above them.

The list containing items needing improvement is topped by checking my ego at the door when entering the gym. For this cycle I did not max before hand, but instead used estimated maxes. However, my estimates were a bit whimsical and certainly wishful. In hindsight my squat estimate should have been at least 10 kilograms lower, my bench was on target, and my deadlift was at least 5 kilograms too high. Now, these adjustments would not have made the estimates truly accurate, they still would have been auspicious, but they would have been safely attainable and would not have lead to compromise later in the training cycle.

Next on the list would be not sticking to the plan, a rookie mistake I should not be making. I compete well, choosing attempts and planning strategy for the day of competition. However, poor training means that I am shooting for the best day after training missteps. Better self control would not only lead to the best day possible, but also a day filled with PRs due to effective peaking. What I need is to remember that the early training phase should be light feeling and is a time to cement technique and bring up weak points with well chosen assistance work.

The next biggest item would be consistency in training frequency and time, not missing days on which the big three are performed or days which are primarily assistance and technical work days. This takes better time management. Elijah demands I recognize my time limitations so that each person in my life receives the best of me when they should. Not someone stretched thin due to time mismanagement.

For the most part I’ve done well eating, forcing food down when I needed to, but the competition is still three and one half weeks away. Until the last deadlift hits the floor this has to continue.

To be sure, there are many other small details that need to be addressed, but these things tend to fall in line when the bigger issues are handled well. What has gone well?

I’ve hit a great number of PRs and, for a moment, my squat form was looking great.  I’ve made more lifting days this cycle than prior.  I’ve managed to weigh less on average, while getting stronger, for most of the cycle.  I’ve also created a template that seems to work great, after adjusting for overzealous lifting activities.

Taking all of these observations together I am well positioned to succeed if I embrace the necessary changes.  Looking forward I am intrigued by the description of Andy Bolton’s deadlift training description in Flex magazine this week. With regards to deadlifting he only pulls maximal weights from blocks and does a good deal of speed work at lighter percentages.  Six weeks out from a competition he eliminates maximal loads and concentrates on maximal speed of the floor with approximately a 60% load.  I have queried him, by asking via Facebook , if he follows similar protocols for both the squat and bench press?

Why am I concerned, or curious, about this, if you will?  It is common for me to hit PRs in a cycle.  Usually these take place in the middle of the cycle, not necessarily a problem, but burn out often follows.  This burn out, if tempered properly, could be used to facilitate super-compensation by controlling load after the period when most of my PRs take place.  Technique could be encouraged after the given time period my utilizing maximum speed work with weights which technique can be maintained, thereby increasing motor recruitment later in the cycle and at the competition. Some other ideas are maintaining volume at the higher percentages from the current program, but doing fewer reps per set so that fatigue does not mount causing technique failures. The latter is an easier choice on the ego, the former a greater leap of faith.

Other changes are certainly possible, and being considered. After the NOTLD on October 23rd I have the USAPL Georgia & Southern States on November 20th. I may do the UGA Strongest Dawg competition in the second week of December, but do not intend to peak for it. Assuming I can total 1509+ at the Georgia, I totaled 1325 last year, I will, hopefully, get to lift at Raw Unity this year. Should this not happen, I will most likely compete again at the Battle on the Border in late March. After that I intend to go to USAPL Raw nationals in Scranton, PA in July (June?).

Clearly, my short term goals include totaling 1509+ in late November, including my first 500+ squat. In the more immediate future I plan to make my first 600+ deadlift at the NOTLD. Looking further out I would like to deadlift 700+ within the next two years, squat 600+ and hit my first 400+ bench, all while staying a 220. The last batch is auspicious, and thus the fuzzy dates on it. My goal when I came back to competition was to qualify for USAPL Open nationals while competing raw and to place well. Placing well to me would be a top 10 finish under these circumstances.

Today is my first Friday without Elijah since the Fall semester began. The new nanny works Fridays. This will be my first Friday in over two months without little man. I still recall my struggles first to get him changed, dressed, and fed on our day. This took almost a month. Then the struggle to get out and get things done with Elijah in tow, and the day Ann told me “just get him dressed and fed, then put him in the car and go.” The latter statement was my catalyst for many days of happiness, parading my proudest accomplishment about. I used my new found courage to take Elijah to Barnes and Noble to meet Henri and the morning crowd, to run too the bank and meet the ladies, and to run by school and let the ladies of the math department staff and building staff enjoy his tendency to smile easy. That ended for the foreseeable future today.

It was the kind of day when a parent hands off their child and feels a bit bad for the nanny. Elijah’s nighttime schedule was off and he woke up early at 7:26. This, in and of itself, is not the harbinger of a difficult day, but little man was in his “don’t set me down mood.” As usual, his morning diaper was an epic pee diaper. Elijah was jovial on the changing table, seemingly his favorite place in the house sometimes. However, when it was time to feed him things went awry. First the milk flowed freely out of the nipple of the bottle as a fountain. This presents a couple complications; 1. milk pours onto the face your child as you try to hit the open hole anticipating a bottle and 2. when you get the bottle in their mouth they get milk so quickly they immediately open their mouths and dribble milk everywhere. Solution, or so I thought, add just enough rice cereal to make it viscous enough not to flow more freely than desired. Alas, Elijah had already made his decision, he would demand a bottle, but only dribble the milk out the side of his mouth when given.

Truth be told, I’d rather have this bad day with Elijah than be without him. He is always fun. He is always handsome. He is always engaged. He is just, sometimes, a bit high maintenance. This being our first child I am assuming all children are high maintenance. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t need us. So, I bid farewell to my high maintenance Fridays with the son in whom I am much pleased and carry dreams for which he has not even formulated yet. I wish him the best with his new nanny and send him my love when we are apart, I wait anxiously for our time together each time we are apart, and send him all my strength and love for the times when all he wants is to be held by those who love him.